I swear, I'm a good person
by Fighter1357
Summary: Damian Wayne doesn't think he's a good person, but maybe he will realize he is. One-shot.


**Title: I swear, I'm a good person. **

**Author: Fighter1357**

**Date: 8/21/13 **

**Genre: Family/Hurt and Comfort**

**Characters: Damian W./Robin, Richard G./Nightwing/Batman**

**Summary: Damian Wayne doesn't think he's a good person, but maybe he will realize he is. **

**A/N: So the saying "I swear, I'm a good person" is from a friend of mine. She always says this when she mentions something... inappropriate? You know I'm not even really sure but she's awesome so who cares. However, how I took this saying and made a sort of character study on Damian Wayne I have no idea... so... yeah. Pretty sure Damian is OOC but whatevs man. I also didn't know whether or not to put this in the YJ or the Batman category so I just put it in the YJ one. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine... like... not even the saying. **

* * *

"I swear, I'm a good person."

Damian sighed to himself, because however much he uttered those words to himself under his breath, they probably wouldn't ever be true. He was an ex-assassin that was raised to believe that he was above all others and that human life meant nothing. He now sought to believe that these morals were _wrong_ and that whatever Grayson had been attempting to teach him (succeeding, though Damian would never admit it) were _right _and that he should live by such rules.

He had to assume that yes, he was not a good person because good people not attempt to kill their self-acclaimed elder brother nor did they insult everyone every waking moment of their existence. Good people did not hide daggers under their pillows and attempt to stab their brother when their brother wakes them up because they were having nightmares. Good people did not push others away and stubbornly refuse to do anything their mentor asks of them, no matter how right their mentor was. Good people were not arrogant, stuck up and nor were they nicknamed "Demon spawn" and though Damian didn't mind, whenever Todd or Drake would call him such (and often Stephanie too even though he would never admit that either) his feelings would in fact get hurt because yes, he does have feelings.

Good people were Richard Grayson, Damian self-announced elder brother and father figure to Damian Wayne. Grayson was annoying, loud, much to touchy-feely, and far too trusting. But Grayson was also soft, strong, and filled with will-power and, the dreaded word itself, love. Love, something that Damian had only ever just discovered. Love, something that Damian wanted and needed but wouldn't admit it out loud because he was the son of _Batman _and heir to the Al Ghul Empire. Grayson loved him, and he loved Grayson. Why Grayson loved him was beyond his own mind because why could anyone ever love someone that wasn't good.

Damian was stubborn and mean and unkind and filled with hate toward Tim Drake and Jason Todd. But he was also soft-spoken and wanting and filled with a sort of understanding toward Tim Drake and Jason Todd and possibly the entire Batfam. Grayson was different because as Batman, and so Grayson was his mentor and his teacher and in some ways his father, and not just the brother the elder claimed he was.

"Bruce is your father, Damian, and I know that if he were here, he would love you so much. He'd be so proud of you," Grayson had told him one night when they returned from patrol. _No he wouldn't, _Damian felt himself thinking, _because I'm not a good person and he wouldn't- couldn't- love me. _

He knew Grayson did, though, because Grayson saw him as a good person. He didn't know why, possibly never could, but Grayson had one fault that Damian didn't see as a fault; he saw the good in everyone. He especially saw the good in Damian and Damian could never think of a way to pay him.

Of course, Grayson would sit with Damian sometimes and tell him stories of the circus, of his parents. Damian would yell and complain and argue that "_Grayson these stories are pointless" _but he enjoyed them to know end and Grayson could be just as pushing and as stubborn as the ten year old himself. Grayson told him that his mother would sing to him, songs that would put the first Robin to sleep in a heartbeat and that she would tell him stories and sing and talk about how much he was like his father. Damian enjoyed them because yes, his own mother would tell stories too but these stories consisted of how valiant the Batman was and how he struck fear in the hearts of his enemies and how he had to be like his father because if no, she would be disappointed in him because he was Al Ghul.

Then Damian had left to live with his father, to join him in his crusade for justice and he hadn't much from his mother at all but now he could be a good person. At first he didn't understand, _why don't you kill father, it's so simple? _But then Bruce Wayne died and Damian met Richard Grayson, the gypsy-filth his father had adopted and he understood why they didn't kill because it wasn't so simple as Damian had once made it out to be.

Grayson was pure and full of life and love and Damian wanted to be like that and he couldn't fathom _how you kill someone_ because it no longer made sense to his mind because how could you end a life, end a heartbeat… a _human being _that lived and loved and was innocent.

Innocent.

Something that Damian was not.

Grayson had once quoted a man named C. S Lewis and told Damian that "we are marble waiting to be shaped, metal waiting to run into a mold" and at first Damian didn't understand. But then he though of how he'd been shaped for the first ten years of his _pitiful life_ and how he was trained to kill and to be merciless. But then he turned and lived as Robin, a boy fighting against the will of Gotham, how he was supposed to be striving for justice and suddenly he was being reshaped in love. When he lived with his mother, he prided with his heritage and hated how he lived and when he lived with Grayson in Wayne Manor he constantly berated him on everything that wasn't like how he used to live and _dammit he had to choose. _

He chose Grayson, Wayne Manor, Robin.

He was trying to be a good person, he swore silently every night, but he wasn't. No point in being fake. He was marble that was strong on the outside and when touched he would crumble and fall into dust, and just as he was the marble he was a metal sword that was shining and proud on the outside but when used he would break with the touch of humanity.

Maybe he wasn't a good person, but he could try to be. He could try to be shaped for goodness, molded for love and try to be the person that Grayson saw he could be. Jason and Tim and Stephanie all saw someone who was a murderer, someone who could not be reshaped and that hurt. It hurt so much. He tried to be a good person, no need to remind him of his arrogance, his faults, his _hubris. _When someone told him he was good on the inside he was grateful, happy and on the outside he dismissed them with unkind words and hateful actions.

Maybe he wasn't a good person now, but maybe he could be.

* * *

Batman and Robin normally did not _do _fires.

They normally weren't even out there in the day. Richard Grayson had to take care of Wayne Tech, and Damian was either in school or hanging around the Manor (depending on the day of the week). But here were Batman and Robin, running through a burning building to help get people out.

"Robin, I want you to get out of here!" Batman yelled, shoving Robin as a burning door fell by them, sending sparks and smoke in their faces.

Robin turned to look at Batman, at Grayson, and saw a haze of smoke and flame and how grim he looked. Then again, Batman sort of always looked grim but Grayson was not a grim person… unless he was Batman. Then again, even as Batman Grayson smiled and smirked.

"Are you an idiot!?" Damian yelled, choking a little at the end.

"No, however you seem to remind me every day," Grayson bit back, attempting humor for a single second. He coughed, harshly (Damian began to get worried), and motioned for the open window. "I'm going to *cough* check for anymore people *cough*. You get ou-*cough*-out!"

When Damian balled his fists and opened his mouth in obvious protest, Grayson grabbed him by the cape and practically threw him out the window. As a plume of fire rose through the air and the wind from outside the window roared in his ear, he swore he heard Grayson yell something about not losing him but then he was falling from the window. He shot out his grappling gun and landed on the ground. He felt hands push him to the side, and voices shouting that they had to get Robin out of the way.

Robin? Who was Robin? Oh… right, he was… but right now he left Robin behind and he was suddenly a scared ten year old boy who wanted his father figure back. He screamed and shouting, fighting against a fireman's arms so that he could run in and save Grayson.

Then the building collapsed.

_No._

It fell in on itself, the old wooden and brick building collapsing with a plume of fiery smoke and ash. Robin screamed, and in a fight of strength he pulled from the fireman's arm and ran toward the building, stopping short a few feet to look at the rubble of burning building.

..._Grayson. _

Tears fell down his face, and he silently sobbed. He had already lost one father… he couldn't lose another.

Suddenly he felt a strong hand on his shoulder and he looked up, perhaps expecting to see the fireman or Commissioner Gordon.

"Grayson!" he exclaimed, forgetting they were Batman and Robin and not Richard Grayson and Damian Wayne. He pushed forward into a hug, wrapping his thin arms around the strong older man. The cape was burned and a little bit of the cowl was singed and hot. Soot and ash covered the bottom half of Grayson's face but the man still smiled, wrapping his own arms around the younger boy.

"_Robin,_" he emphasized, reminding Damian who they were dressed as.

"I'd thought I'd lost you," Damian, ignoring the elder mans words, muttered into Grayson's chest, so that his words were muffled.

"Never," Grayson replied softly, kneeling down so that they were at eye level. Damian knew the public was watching them but right now he didn't care.

"I should not have left you…"

"You did as you were told," Grayson reminded him. "You're a good kid, Damian… I'm proud of you."

Damian's breath hitched. Grayson just told him that he was a good person… so…

Maybe Damian was.

Fin.


End file.
